The Mr. Mom Blues

It’s Tuesday of the second week that I’ve been without a job and it’s starting to bring me down already. You’d think I’d be incredibly productive since I’ve got all kinds of time on my hands. I could finish reading all of the half-read books that are lying around, clean up the lawn, vacuum, or actually get into a disciplined writing routine. But of course, no. I’m getting less done than ever before.

My self-worth, like most males I’d imagine, is completely tied up in what I do for a living. Right now I’m doing nothing, therefore, I feel like I’m worth nothing. This is an extreme point of view, I know, but it is one of the pillars of unemployment.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to be home with Maddie in the morning, and I know that when/if I get a job, I’ll miss being the one to put her down for naps and watch her giggle in the morning. Jill teaches until about 11:00 every day, so when she comes home I try to look like I’m working on something important. I feel ashamed if I haven’t gotten at least one significant thing done while she was gone.

“How was your morning?” she’ll ask. And I’ll rattle off a list of things that I got done already.

“Oh, you know, I ate breakfast, did the dishes, changed Maddie’s diaper, applied for a couple jobs online, peed – nothing eventful.”

My friend, Al is a stay-at-home dad and he loves it. Unfortunately, this isn’t in the cards for me. Jill is part time and we’re relying on me to pull in the primary income. If I were a best-selling author, this might work. But I’m not, so it doesn’t.

It’s not a good fit for me to be down. I’m usually up. I’m optimistic and ready to take on the unexpected. But at the moment, I’d rather just go to work.

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