The Color of Poo

This weekend, Jill and I went out with some friends of ours. We’ve been friends with this couple for years. They were some of the first people we called when Madelyn was born. As we’ve grown closer to them, we’ve talked about our marriages (good, bad, and ugly), politics, our Christian faith, and everything in between. Until recently, I thought nothing was off limits. But I may be wrong.

While we were in the car, the girls started talking about Madelyn. Well when you talk about the activities of a three-month-old, topics are limited to the basics: eating, sleeping, puking, and pooping. This particular discussion centered around pooping and the nuances thereof. They talked about what Maddie’s poop was like when she was first born – a tarry dark brown/black sticky mess. They talked about how it changed in a matter of about 36 hours to a thinner, less sticky, brown mess. And they talked about how much nicer it is now that it’s just a yellow, seedy, soupy kinda substance.

Jill was just about to describe what Maddie’s poop does a day after we feed her formula when I looked over at Matt in the passenger seat. His face was contorted and half hidden as he reached for the window button. He looked confused, disgusted, and as if he was trapped in a small space with something that was about to explode.

It was then I realized that we talked less about politics and Christianity lately. Of course, we were one of those couples that claimed that our baby would become part of the family, but would not be the center of the family. And I think we’re still working toward this, but Maddie has certainly become one of the focal points of our conversations between ourselves and with friends.

We have friends that we’ve spent less time with now that we have a baby and they do not. In some cases, the fading or complete loss of friendship has been incredibly painful, especially for Jill. On the other hand, some of our friendships with couples with kids have grown stronger now that we have this major thing in common.

But outside of both of these types of friendships are friends that are there for us throughout the changes in our lives. They were there before we got married and after we got married, before we had kids and after we had a baby. And I know they’ll be there before and after we hit major life iceberg.

It’s great to have friends that put up with how excited we get over the color of poo.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

The Mr. Mom Blues

It’s Tuesday of the second week that I’ve been without a job and it’s starting to bring me down already. You’d think I’d be incredibly productive since I’ve got all kinds of time on my hands. I could finish reading all of the half-read books that are lying around, clean up the lawn, vacuum, or actually get into a disciplined writing routine. But of course, no. I’m getting less done than ever before.

My self-worth, like most males I’d imagine, is completely tied up in what I do for a living. Right now I’m doing nothing, therefore, I feel like I’m worth nothing. This is an extreme point of view, I know, but it is one of the pillars of unemployment.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to be home with Maddie in the morning, and I know that when/if I get a job, I’ll miss being the one to put her down for naps and watch her giggle in the morning. Jill teaches until about 11:00 every day, so when she comes home I try to look like I’m working on something important. I feel ashamed if I haven’t gotten at least one significant thing done while she was gone.

“How was your morning?” she’ll ask. And I’ll rattle off a list of things that I got done already.

“Oh, you know, I ate breakfast, did the dishes, changed Maddie’s diaper, applied for a couple jobs online, peed – nothing eventful.”

My friend, Al is a stay-at-home dad and he loves it. Unfortunately, this isn’t in the cards for me. Jill is part time and we’re relying on me to pull in the primary income. If I were a best-selling author, this might work. But I’m not, so it doesn’t.

It’s not a good fit for me to be down. I’m usually up. I’m optimistic and ready to take on the unexpected. But at the moment, I’d rather just go to work.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::