If Engine Fails, Pull Chord

It’s 3:00 in the afternoon, I’m sitting in my office at work, and my wife and I have not exactly been firing on all cylinders lately. Due to the arrival of our first little bundle of joy (the doctor’s words, not ours), we haven’t had the energy for, or even an interest in sex for a couple of months, and I think we’re starting to feel the effects. Here’s how I know:

• I have lost much of the itch that I used to have to scratch quite often
• The patient, amused husband that my wife used to live with is gone, and has been replaced by an edgy, condescending roommate with little interest in anyone else’s daily life
• My wife tells me that we’re not “connecting”
• My wife has dreams of me cheating on her (in the morning I usually have to apologize for behaving badly in her subconscious)

All of these and a few others, are signs that it’s time to amp up the love juice, to turn down the lights and turn on the Marvin Gaye, to bring home a bottle of wine and just get crazy. This is a motivating thought and a noble challenge, and the only thing standing in the way of me filling my wife’s love tanks to overflowing is… I don’t feel like it.

Apathy and complacency are a huge threat to any relationship because they’re so hard to beat. It’s like the weapon in Batman Begins that evaporates all of the enemy’s water supply, only this weapon evaporates your very will to fight it.

So what do I do? I don’t know, I’m not brilliant at this sort of thing especially when my romantic motor isn’t running on it’s own and I’ve got to turn the crank manually. It’s going to seem forced, because it is forced. But I’m pretty sure that’s the only way to get the wheels turning again.

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